Britney’s 16-year old sister, Jamie Lynn just announced that she is pregnant.  OMG people—what is happening to us!  I know the Spear’s sisters are not Jewish, but I also write about parenting and OMG (again) this is a parenting issue.

Can someone just gather up all of young Hollywood and make them sit through a basic middle school “family ed” class?  Or maybe spike their Red Bull/vodka drinks with birth control pills? 

Even Jessica Alba is pregnant.  Call me old fashioned, but I thought engagement comes before marriage, not pregnancy.

I guess it was Jamie Lynn that set me off.  My 11-year old daughter is a fan of her Nickelodeon series Zoey 101.  Sofie has often said that even though Britney has fallen from grace (not her exact words and she does like Spear’s new album) but at least her sister Jamie Lynn seems to have learned from her sister’s mistakes and seems to have her act together.

Guess not.

And, yes, while I was waiting for my polish to dry at the nail place I did read an in depth report in US magazine about the Spear’s family history of drug and alcohol abuse and depression…but, frankly, boohoo.  Be strong.  They put themselves in the public eye, they market their image to young women, they need to be responsible.

Do I believe these women are role models or should be role models for my daughter?  No.  But they have forced her to grow up a little faster than I had to.  Growing up I honestly believed that you got married and a year later had a baby.  Somehow the two were inextricably linked.  The thought of pregnancy outside of wedlock was unimaginable. 

But all my children have to do is turn on the tv or the computer and it’s right in their face.  On a weekly basis another young actress/model/singer announces that she’s in the family way.

I like to think of myself as a pretty cool mom, but my worry is that we’re reaching a point where teen age pregnancy and pre-marital births are commonplace.  No, these young public figures are not role models, but they have a way of setting trends.

So what’s a Jewish mom to do?

Simple.  We do what we’ve always done.  We talk and we educate.  We cannot close our eyes and assume our children do not know.  We must talk to our sons and daughters at a very young age about safe sex and about the benefits of being in a stable, loving, committed relationship before having sex and especially before having children.

We have to be realistic that our children will become sexually active at a younger age than we’d like to think and therefore we must talk to them about safe sex.  This will not encourage them to have sex, but it will allow them to be protected, both from disease and pregnancy, if and when they do become active.

I attended a parents meeting at my daughter’s middle school.  The health teachers wanted us to be comfortable with the “family life” curriculum before it was taught.  Parents had the option to pull their children out of class if they did not want them to learn this information.  The curriculum was innocuous (at least to me).  In sixth grade they learn the basics.  Discussions about homosexuality and contraception come at a later grade.  One mother asked specifically how reproduction would be described.  The teacher explained that they use standard medical terminology, “penis” “vagina”.  The mother was outraged, “Why should our children have to hear such words?  They are only children!”

But it is this head-in-the-sand thinking that will get our children into trouble.  If you don’t talk to your children honestly and openly about sex, if they don’t have you to listen to, then they will just have Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears.

And that’s scary.

 

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