This time of year, many years ago, before my children were born, I remember a co-worker coming up to me and asking me what that word was that I kept saying to my Jewish co-workers.  "What word?" I asked.  "That Hebrew word...you know...'hafaneasyfas'".  After several minutes of confusion I realized she was talking about my saying "Have an easy fast."  I explained that Yom Kippur was days away and that we don't wish each other a "Happy Yom Kippur" but rather hope that we have an easy or comfortable fast.

Yom Kippur is the only fast day I observe...and to some extent, it's almost wrong to wish it easy.  My understanding is that we are to be so intent in our prayers for forgiveness that we do not think of such mundane things as eating.  Problem is, sometimes the hunger is a distraction--especially towards the end of the day when all I can think about is the bagels and lox platter waiting at home.

But during Kol Nidre and during most of Yom Kippur, I do like the feeling of being in services and reflecting on my behavior in the past year and how I want to improve in the year ahead.  I remember as a teenager, joking with my sister and friends about the al het list--we'd giggle about what we did and did not do--"gossip...yep; xenophobic...nope."  But now, it's not so funny...some hit home.

Unlike New Year's Eve, we don't use this time of year to pledge to lose weight, or exercise more, or learn a new language.  We truly take stock of who we are, and even more importantly, who we'd like to be.  It's intensely private--there's no asking each other what our resolutions are.  And the combination of the fast and the day of prayer and meditation are powerful aids in this exercise of self-evaluation.

I feel overwhelmed by the imagery of a giant book opening and God somehow inscribing my fate for the year ahead--and that moment at the conclusion of Yom Kippur when I can almost hear the book close.  And I had complete control of what was "written"--what kind of person I am and who I can be.  This past year...was I kind?  Was I giving?  Was I loving?  To whom do I need to apologize?  For which al hets do I truly need to beat my chest?

How can we help our children, who are too young to fast, to feel the weight of the day?  Perhaps on Yom Kippur they can go without snacks and television.  If they are old enough, let them prepare their meals, out of respect for the adults who are fasting.  Talk to them about how you feel--perhaps share some of the personal changes you'd like to make.  More importantly, set the example by apologizing to them--for times we've lost our patience, or times we didn't truly listen, or times we yelled too quickly or severely, or times we didn't find time.  Let Yom Kippur be a day to reflect, to re-prioritize and to re-connect. 

And so, dear friends, I wish you an easy fast and may you be inscribed in the Book of Life for a good year.

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