(This article is really for the Grandmas but also to give the moms a little insight into how their parents feel when it's a yontif.)

 

I've just spent several weeks with my precious grandsons on the West Coast.  I know I usually miss them when we are so far apart but when I spend time with them, I truly realize what we all miss by being so geographically separated.

The High Holidays are fast approaching.  When my daughters were teens, I would sit in shul and smile at the grandmas walking up the aisles beaming and holding their grandchildren.  I knew one day that would be me.  I never even considered my daughters would live out of town and I wouldn't get the chance to "show off" my grandchildren and more importantly, let them see how their grandparents celebrate the holidays, our shul, our friends, our traditions.

So, how did we survive this time when our children were not home for the holidays?

Well, let me give you a little history first.  My husband and I were very fortunate when we were newly married to meet a couple, who were also living away from family, and we became friends and began celebrating Rosh Hashana together.  Our friends had us for dinner one night and we hosted the next.  We pulled out all the traditional recipes, just like our mothers made, set the table with all the beautiful silver and crystal and made a real yontif.  As children came into the picture, the yontifs got better.  It seemed like only a little time went by and then the children were in college and we insisted that no Jewish student be left in the dorms over the holidays (the girls both went to schools that were driving distance from our home, so they could come home for the holidays and could bring friends who were from out-of-town).  We always had plenty of food.  How I loved those yontifs with college students from all over the country!

Soon our friends' family moved into town and her dinner grew.  I started to invite new friends with their children.  I now entertain third generations with our friends' grandchildren.  Some of the first generation have sadly passed away but their children and grandchildren continue to celebrate with us.  It's now been almost four decades and the yontifs still include those traditional menus.  Changing the recipes just doesn't feel right.

Unfortunately, none of the twenty-some people I have are my children, so every so many years (this one included) we go to our daughters out of town.  It's not our shul, it's not our friends, it's not my recipes, but it feels so good to be with our children.

Our daughters know how we feel.  They know when their flowers arrive with the note that says "Good Yontif, we love you," I cry.

So grandmas, you know how I feel.  And moms, if you are not with your family--invite guests, maybe even new members of your community or shul.

But, most importantly, have a sweet, healthy New Year.

And as my mother always said, "I wish for you, what you wish for yourself."

 

Buddee

 

By the way, if you have any questions, or have ideas for something you’d like me to write about, email my daughter and she’ll tell me (I’d say to email me, but…well…let’s just say I’d won’t be giving advice on how to use a computer.)

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