It’s hard to believe that when your child is only 10 or 11 years old, you’ll receive a date for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Can you even fathom planning for something that is 2-3 years out? And, yes, it will absorb your life, but only if you let that happen.. Now is the time to seriously consider what type of celebration will meet your needs and budget. If you have the means and want professional guidance, hire an event planner who will guide you through the next few years. If you choose to manage your own event, get ready to do your homework.
Whether you receive a date from your synagogue or arrange for a private service, the date should be assigned 2-3 years prior to your child’s thirteenth year. Contrary to popular belief, it does not need to be right around their 13th birthday….it can be few months later. There are no bad dates, but do look at both an academic and Jewish calendar…..it is quite a shock to find out that your date is the day before Passover or the last day of Spring break.
Let’s look at some practical guidelines and a timeline that will help ease you into the world of successful B’nai Mitzvah planning.
Two-three years before…..
Think about your event…..luncheon, dinner, casual, formal…synagogue social hall, hotel, country club, restaurant or private hall with caterer. These facilities vary on when they will enter into a contract, but they may put you on a list….and keep in touch. Contact entertainment professionals to discuss options such as music, photos, videos and cocktail entertainment. Most important, talk to people to get recommendations; not all party professionals work with agencies. And, if you plan to hire a party planner, do it now….they charge a fee but can save you money in the long run through their contacts.
One year before…...
If you haven’t signed your contracts, lock them in now. Party location, caterer, photographer, videographer, band or DJ, and decorator/florist….these all require non-refundable deposits, so know what you want! You’ve had the last year to decide, and a contract is not solid without signature and a deposit. Also, make sure that your hotel rooms are blocked and under contract. Hire bus or limo transportation. Now you can relax and design your theme!
Six-eight months before….
Pull your guest list together with addresses, and give your child an idea of how many friends can be invited. Select your invitations and order no later than 4-5 months before the date. It is more cost-effective to order thank you notes at the same time. If you are running behind, request that the outer envelopes ship in advance so that the calligrapher can address them before the invitations arrive. Also, plan a Shabbat dinner or Sunday Brunch and order inserts or separate invitations to send. This is also the time to decide on specialty items such as party favors, sign-in books/boards and a video montage.
Three months before….
Finalize your guest list for the calligrapher so it is ready to go when the envelopes arrive. Ask to see prototypes of your centerpieces, order your kippahs, book your hair and make-up appointments for the week of……the countdown begins!
Two months before….
Mail the invitations! Check on the web for custom postage stamps that can be ordered to enhance your invitations, but don’t order until the invites are completed…..take a stuffed envelope to the post office and have it weighed. Don’t forget about the stamp for the RSVP envelope. Whew! Time to meet with the caterer for the final menu plan and tasting! Start to write the speeches and the candlelighting. Meet with your caterer or party planner to plan a timeline for the event and coordinate this schedule with your phtotographer, videographer, music people and cocktail entertainment. Order cocktail napkins, guest towels and the place cards.
One month before….
Confirm a rehearsal time with the synagogue or service location and schedule your photographer/vidoegrapher to be there….this may be your only opportunity to record this part of the memory. Review and confirm all contracts with event professionals. Purchase and organize items for hotel hospitality baskets. Request a copy of your guest list from the hotel to confirm room reservations against your out-of-town responses.
Two weeks before…..
Confirm the final guest count with your caterer and keep them informed of table changes up to the day of the event. Organize your house and party items and get ready for….
The week of…….!!
Finalize your tables, complete the placecards, reconfirm your event contracts, practice the speeches, etc., etc., etc. Mazel Tov….you made it!
Sheri Freedman
Two's Company, North Potomac, MD
301-279-0928
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