Spring is here, summer looming, and you are starting to panic about getting your invitations out for your Fall Bar/Bat Mitzvah.  Do I send a Save-the-Date to give people advance notice?  Will they send their responses back in time if they are on vacation? And the most amusing dilemma of all......"Mom, how do I know who my friends will be next year?" Here are a few tips to help you keep your summer planning pleasant (and hopefully your sanity, too!).
 
Labor Day weekend is generally the kickoff time for Fall events. Invitations are usually mailed 2 months prior to the celebration, but this can put you at a disadvantage.  First, many of the teens will leave for summer camp, and the invitation will arrive and sit for weeks unattended.  Second, family vacations will also hinder a quick response from your adult guests. There is no perfect solution, but a Save-the-Date in Winter/early Spring is a polite way to give your guests a heads up.  Also, mail the invitations 9-10 weeks ahead, which is very considerate to your out-of-town guests who need to make travel plans.  It also allows your child to enjoy the ooohs and aaahs from school friends who receive the invitation before the end of the school year!  There is no guarantee that your guests will send the response before they take off for vacation, but you have provided them with enough information and time to get themselves organized.  If you do send your invitations out 9-10 weeks ahead, you can put a response date of one month on the response card and hopefully will have fewer strays to contact at the last minute.
 
One of the funniest things (but so true) that I hear from my client's "tweens" is the question, "How do I know who my friends will be next year?"  Middle school is a tough time for sincerity in relationships, and the kids get very stressed about who are their "best friends."  If your child's Mitzvah is in September or October, make sure to leave a little wiggle room for a few extra "best friends," as the kids make new relationships when they start  back to school.  With new classes and different lunch periods, it is very stressful to have the new friend listen to everyone else talking about your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Fickle, but if it allows your child to be the nice, considerate friend, it goes a long way.
 
So line up the calligrapher, pick out your postage, mail those invites and enjoy your vacation!

 

 

Sheri Freedman
Two's Company, North Potomac, MD
301-279-0928

 

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